Before and After Kids #Motherfunny

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Before and After Kids #Motherfunny

After hours of being with the baby, I need something funny to lighten my mood. My favorite new place to get my laughs is NickMom.com and NickMom programming on Nickelodeon. In the spirit of NickMom, I created this list of the Top 7 Things About Working from Home that are different before and after kids.

The Baby vs. The Puppy! Cuteness throwdown! #MotherFunny #shopIn the time before the baby, or B.B., our house was clean and organized, we were able to come and go as we pleased, trips to Target weren’t planned around how much I could carry in a stroller, and our dog was the center of attention.

What they don’t tell you when you have an infant as a work-at-home-mom, is that your bathroom breaks become an audience with the precious little princess in the porcelain throne room.

Changes in wardrobe after kids  #Motherfunny #shop

Top 7 Things About Working from Home that are different before and after kids

Before kids: My title was simply “fashion blogger.”

After kids: My title is now mom, mommy blogger, fashion blogger, butt wiper, and food processor.

Before kids: Trips to the bathroom were leisurely, and I could bring a magazine with me if I wanted to!

After kids: Now I have company whenever I go, and bowel movements have to be quick, efficient, and stealthy like a ninja.

Before kids: The contents of our living room were as follows: couches x2, lamps, television, coffee table.

After kids: The contents of our living room are as follows: couches x2, lamps, television, coffee table, mobile, pack n’ play, approximately a half dozen lost pacifiers, breast pump, assorted milk stains

Before kids: I was able to type with two hands.

After kids: Now, I have to type with 1.

Before kids: I was able to style my outfits from my entire closet.

After kids: I am limited to tops that allow me to whip out a boob on a moments notice. Sexy.

Before kids: My dog woke up in the middle of the night to go pee.

After kids: My dog wouldn’t think of wasting an opportunity to sleep.

Before kids: I thought I would hear my cell phone ringing when it wasn’t.

After kids: I think I hear my baby crying when she isn’t. Then, I still hear my cell phone “not” ringing. That didn’t go away.

Sleep deprived puppy! #MotherFunny #shop

Get your nightly laughs from http://nickmom.com.

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What has changed for you since having kids?

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4 thoughts on “Before and After Kids #Motherfunny”

  1. I totally understand all of the above!!! I can hear a cry for mom across the house when no one else can… and they think I’m crazy until I open the door and they hear it, too.

    Reply
  2. Look at Harrison Ford! He looks so sleepy now that Miss Cami is terrorizing him! Everyone looks happy and healthy though! And I can totally relate to all of the above. I’m SO glad to be done breastfeeding. I had been either pregnant or nursing for 5 years when I finally quit nursing Grady last December. I still can’t stand for my husband to touch my boobies. They’re MINE! For at least the next 10 years! #client

    Reply

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